Earthbound: 199X plus 1
by J. Christopher Claybrooks
Summary: One year after the defeat of Giygas, a mysterious new group of foes appear to make trouble for the chosen four...
1. Dire Expositions

Chapter I: Dire Expositions

The craft swooped low over the dark, dank water. It circled around a bend in the tangled trees and hovered briefly over a patch of ground that looked solid. After a hesitant moment, it touched down, its landing gear sinking in the soggy earth. The bottom hatch opened with a hiss and a tall, thin figure emerged. He sloshed through the dense mud with a familiarity which was not shared with his companion. He too was thin, though not tall by any means. He managed two whole steps before falling flat on his face in the mud.

"Are you ok Toney?" Jeff Andonuts asked his companion.

"…I think so." Toney responded in his nasal tone. "I'm just not used to this mud… or the heat… or the humidity…"

"Yes, it takes some getting used to." Jeff said. He remembered with no great fondness his first visit to deep darkness. "Avoid the deep water if possible," he warned "it's a bit of a health hazard…"

Toney wiped his face thoughtfully. "This place is pretty bright." He observed, shielding his eyes. "It's a bit contradictory, given its name, don't you think?"

Jeff didn't respond he wasn't really paying attention, as there was work to be done; a research project for his biology class involving natural observation. He and Toney were going to gather data on the various undiscovered species of, flora, fauna, and animalia that lived in deep darkness, a tepid jungle that had been devoid of sunlight for centuries. A place that was still deep, but not quite so dark, thanks to the exploits of Jeff and his three comrades a year before. Back then, the region had been under the influence of an evil alien megalomaniac by the name of Giygas, and the local wildlife was psychotically aggressive and man-eating. Now, a year later, with all alien influences removed, the plants and animals were still psychotic and man-eating, but far less aggressive.

"This looks like a good spot." Jeff called to Toney, "The ground feels solid."

Toney waded awkwardly over to Jeff, carrying a camera bag.

"Why did we have to come here?" Toney whined, eying a rather large crocodile with apprehension.

"You suggested we go somewhere exotic." Jeff retorted, "Something about everyone else going out to observe goats around the school?"

"Well… yeah, but I didn't mean DEEP DARKNESS!! I've heard they have giant man eating leaches here!!!" said Toney, still whining.

"No, Toney, no giant leaches, just demonic petunias." Jeff sighed. "Don't worry about it!" He added with all the cheer he could muster, "This place is harmless, except for the poisonous snakes, giant spiders, piranhas, and Malaria. It's your standard jungle, really."

"That's not funny, I remember all those stories you told!" Toney complained, still whining.

"All those stories?" asked Jeff perplexed. "I mentioned this place in passing once or twice. But…" Jeff never finished that sentence, for at that exact moment several very irate and rather large leaches hoisted themselves out of a nearby stagnant mud-hole and attacked. Although he was caught by Surprise, Jeff was not caught unprepared; losing no time, Jeff whipped out his Gaia beam and proceeded to clear a path back to the Sky Runner III.

"Go!" he yelled to Toney.

They ran clumsily through the waist deep water, Jeff firing bolts of energy from his beam pistol with practiced precision. Toney reached the Sky runner first and leapt inside, entering the ignition sequence with panicked haste. Jeff sprinted through the mud towards the aircraft, simultaneously loading a new charge into his pistol. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his back, as one particularly large, and exceptionally irate leach latched its self onto his back and flung him into the water. He heard Toney screaming over the whirr of the Sky Runner's engines as the dark water rushed into his mouth and sinuses. He felt the leaches swarm him, and then, he knew no more.

X X X X X X X X

The phone rang.

"I've got it." Ness yelled downstairs.

He heard his sister answering the phone. "Ness! It's for you!!" she called.

"I said I had it." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Hello?" he answered into the receiver.

"Ness, honey, its mom," His mother said, "Your father and I are going to be gone for a few more days, so could you baby sit your sister?"

"Baby-sit?" Ness asked. This was not good. There was a baseball game coming up to which he had already bought tickets. But, being the dutiful son that he was, and realizing that arguing with his mother was essentially pointless, he simply agreed. He would have to concoct a strategy for getting out of it later. "Yeah, Sure I will, but is that really necessary? I mean, Tracy had a part time job last summer!"

"Your point being?" Mom asked

"Well, can't she take care of herself?" Ness Replied

"Oh honey," Ness' Mom interjected, "That was just a plot device. You know she's only in second grade! Oh, look at your father's shirts, I need to iron them pronto, I'll see you later, Honey!" and with that she hung up.

"Where are mom and dad anyway?" Tracy asked.

"I dunno, they went somewhere for their anniversary." Ness replied absently.

"Ness," Tracy said, "Mom and dad got married in December."

"So what's your point?" Ness asked, slightly irritated.

"It's May." Tracy said simply.

X X X X X X X X

Poo stood sagely at the edge of the icy cliff, a profound darkness looming at the edge of his thoughts. A shiftless mass of malice was gaining strength somewhere in the world, and he feared that he and the other chosen ones would soon be called on to vanquish it.

"I picked a hell of a time to get married." He spoke into the wind. More accurately his mother had picked a hell of a time for him to marry. Upon their return to Dalaam one month after his adventure, his parents decreed that he would marry princess Pei the daughter of General Mao, ruler of Wu Tang, a tiny mountain kingdom North of Dalaam. Now, three months before the wedding date he was on a journey to Mao's palace to deliver his bride-to-be's dowry. In his opinion, the whole thing wreaked.

Poo sighed.

The fact that he was about to go through with an arranged marriage didn't bother him. He trusted his mother implicitly, far more than he trusted his own judgment when it came to women. His father often joked that Poo would be wed to half the women in Dalaam, were he left to his own devices. This was of course an exaggeration, but not by much. What really bothered Poo was the timing. He had told his father about his premonitions, who had jokingly replied, "Well, my son, you had better hurry and marry so you can provide this country with another heir, In case you die." Then, his father had added with all seriousness and graveness of face, "I'm serious."

Though he shared his father's twisted sense of humor, he did not share his mother's optimistic appraisal of his bride. The last time he had seen her, they had both been children, and she had been a fat, pretentious, spoiled brat.

"Not that I have a problem with pretentious, spoiled brats." Poo joked with himself. He glanced down at the dowry, a jade dagger, sheathed in a scabbard crafted from solid ivory. It belonged to his mother, and had been handed down from queen to queen in Dalaam for a millennia and a half. Though Poo's mother called it by the name of her mother in law, and his grandmother had called it by hers, Poo preferred to refer to it as the dagger of queens, a companion to the sword of kings lashed to his belt.

Poo groaned as he remembered the other part of this arrangement that upset him. He would have to leave the Sword of Kings with Princess Pei until their wedding day, as a sign of his pledge and their engagement. He directed a shower of stars into a nearby mountain, dropping its elevation by 400 feet. He never relieved emotions through such a display, but this was a special occasion. So out of sorts was he that he did not recognize the approach of the four figures until they had surrounded him. He looked calmly from one to another. They were definitely looking to intimidate him that he could tell from their posture. He laid a hand on his sword and sized up his opponents. One was tall, and thin. He wore a turban and was heavily cloaked in a tattered robe. The other was a stout creature, bulky, and no less hostile. The third was short and wore a hood with a pair of gleaming red eyes. The fourth wore no cloak, but was clad in light armor and was strapped with an array of swords. Poo could sense that they were very strong fighters, and though he could not discern exactly how strong, he could clearly see that they were not human. The horns and scales made that abundantly clear.

"You have business with me?" Poo demanded.

The one in the turban smiled. "The sword." He said simply.

"Bite me." Poo said, equally simply, and with that they charged him, first the smallish one, he threw a punch which Poo ducked easily, the one with swords charged in low, and with his left hand brought his blade to bear on Poo, who leapt over the assault, twirling in midair. The swordsman redoubled his assault, this time with his right hand. Poo unsheathed his sword and parried with a singular motion. The large one hurled himself into the fray, the ground exploding under his savage fist. Poo leapt into the air just as the blow was landed and hurled a several bolts of lightning at his attackers. The large one took two of the bolts to the chest, but the swordsman caught the third with his right hand sword and hurled it back at Poo, shattering his hastily raised psychic shield. Poo landed close to the precipice and readied himself for another bout. He could feel the small one begin to focus his energy into his palms as the swordsman charged with blinding speed. The leader dressed in the tattered robe and turban, watched calmly as Poo held his own against the three others. Though the unknown swordsman was slightly faster than Poo, he had not mastered the art of Mu, nor did he have the finesse native to Poo's fighting. Poo could have taken the swordsman and the large brute and come out on top, however, by this time, the smaller assailant had massed his energy into an enormous ball and hurled it at the prince and, with no time to dodge, Poo weathered the assault by splitting the ball of destruction with his sword. This threw Dalaam's heir off balance long enough for the other two to end the fight. Poo was sliced, pummeled and left in the snow, bereft of his sword.

X X X X X X X X

"Shannon, what's wrong?" Paula Polestar asked the sobbing little girl clutching her leg. "Tracy," She called, "Could you go get me a box of Kleenex?"

"Ok, Paula." Ness' sister replied.

A brief frown crossed Paula's face. She liked Tracy, and enjoyed babysitting her, she was a little older than the other children, so she needed less looking after, and she shared her some of her older brother's more charming characteristics. That said, it was this same charm that bothered Paula, as they inevitably led her to think of Ness. It had been entirely too long since the two of them had spent any real time together

She could tell that he wanted to spend time with her, though she didn't quite grasp to what extent, she knew that he had cooked up this scheme to leave Tracy at Polestar Preschool/Daycare center so he could catch a baseball game with his friends. And Paula really wanted to catch this baseball game with him, because as she had "forgotten" to tell him on the last day of their adventure, she loved him. She didn't really know if he felt the same way, she would have read his mind if she could, but found that impossible. It was part of the reason she loved him, he was so different from anyone else she had ever known…

"What's wrong, Shannon?" She inquired of the little girl, still blubbering into her knee caps.

"I'm scared." Shannon finally replied when she calmed down.

"Awww, scared of what? It's still light out." Paula observed.

Shannon simply pointed in response. There in the middle of the street, stood a woman. She had jet black hair and green eyes and she wore a black dress. This was, of course, not what scared the little girl. It was the giant black widow spider crouching next to her. Paula blinked incredulously. How in the world had she not sensed THAT coming? The woman smiled a malicious hello.

"Who are you?" demanded Paula, un-intimidated.

"Not afraid of spiders?" the woman responded, "We shall have to fix that."

Paula mentally reached into the kitchen and took a hold of a frying pan in the cabinet.

"We're here for the…" The woman continued, but Paula didn't let her finish. She yanked the pan through the window of the preschool while simultaneously hurling a blast of PSI fire at the woman and her spider. The woman glared at Paula as the flames dissipated. Paula leapt forward, bringing her pan down on the woman's forehead. The woman chuckled evilly, formed her hand into a claw and took a swipe at Paula. She dodged the attack, and ducked a swinging appendage from the spider. Gathering her PSI, Paula hurled herself upwards over the Spider and gathered her concentration. She forcibly removed the heat from the air around her hand and hurled a gust of freezing wind at the Spider.

"PSI FREEZE!" she yelled. The monstrous arachnid was encased in ice, while Paula, using PSI to propel herself downwards, landed on it with the force of an incendiary bomb. The beast shattered, and with a sinister chuckle its woman companion charged Paula, who fended off most of the blows with her frying pan, but was caught on the thigh by a low swipe. The woman's claws tore Paula's skirt and drew blood, but the wound was shallow. The woman stood back with a satisfied grin.

At this Paula began to worry. "Those claws, they're poisoned!"

"Bingo." The woman replied. She then knelt and drew two mysterious symbols on the sidewalk with her nails. Two very large jumping spiders erupted from the ground in a flash of light. They attacked Paula savagely, while the mysterious woman hurled a stream of silk into the broken window of the preschool, and yanked. There was a scream and out came Tracy.

"We have what we need. Let's go." The woman said with a wicked grin. The two spiders and their master retreated, Tracy in tow. Paula, too weakened from the poison could not follow. Rather, she did what any telepathic psychic would do. She passed out.

X X X X X X X X X

Becky glanced nervously at Ness for the hundredth time. She was perhaps the single most passionate fan of baseball in the entire town of Onett, yet for some reason that she could not explain, or at least didn't want to think about, she was having an exceedingly difficult time keeping her focus on the game. Jim, Sam and Bobby had all bought tickets months in advance and while she wanted to go, her parents simply wouldn't fork over the money for the tickets and the bus to Fourside. It wasn't that they were poor or frugal; refusing to pay was just their way of telling her to tone down her tom boyishness, they were passive aggressive that way. They would never tell her outright to behave a certain way, but would do things in such a way that she clearly got the message that they were concerned with her lack of interest in Barbie and wanted her to focus on something besides her obsession with baseball, something that was largely impossible. _Well, maybe not that impossible_ she thought as she caught herself staring at Ness yet again. She had good reason to stare, she rationalized, after what had happened. When Ness invited her to the game she was at first ecstatic, but quickly realized that he had bought tickets for a game that was if Fourside, seven hours by bus from Onett, and was scheduled to start in a little less than fifteen minutes.

"Unless you can like, teleport or something you wasted your money." She snapped at him. He simply smiled and took her hand. Her stomach did a somersault as Ness' skin touched hers. Suddenly the world around her began to spin and there was a potent buzzing not unlike the sensation that accompanies the licking of a nine volt battery, followed by a bright flash. Upon opening her eyes, the city of Fourside assaulted her vision. There was no explanation, and Ness dismissed her stammering questions with a simple, "it's a long story." Eyeing him now in the midst of all these people, Becky found that she was insatiably curious as to what the hell had Ness been doing during his summer vacation? He was still… the same. He… he still had… he was…why was her head getting so fuzzy?

Ness stood in the bleachers, lost in the crowd, and cheered wildly at the grand slam that had just put the Fourside Mayhem in the lead and thought that the only way to improve this already perfect outing would be to share it with Paula. Granted a baseball game was a bit mundane when compared to the adventures they had shared, but he would enjoy time spent with her regardless of what they did. Not that he was romantically interested in her or anything; there just wasn't anything he wouldn't do to make her happy, to keep her well, or to protect her. Many was the time when he had selflessly thrown himself between her and certain death during the course of their adventure, and since their first meeting, late one night somewhere in their collective dreams, they had shared an indescribable bond that went infinitely deeper than the trivial romances of other young people their ages. There weren't the typical stars and butterflies that he had felt with other girls in his short tenure in romance, just the hardened and impenetrable bond of friendship.

As it stood, however, she was still in Twoson babysitting Tracy. He had felt bad dumping his younger sister on Paula and splitting for a baseball game, but there was really no way around it short of wasting the tickets altogether, and he was not about to do that, they had been expensive, bought at the last minute. So there he was with four members of his sandlot team, taking in a long awaited, overly expensive, but well worth it match up of the Fourside Mayhem and the Ellay Hunters.

He was still cheering his lungs out when he noticed the voice to his immediate left had dwindled into silence. He turned to Becky wondering why the biggest Mayhem fan in Onett was silent at a moment like this and found her blankly at him, her eyes glassy. He was unnerved when he saw her usually lively face so devoid of emotion. He was surprised when she abruptly cocked her fist back and slammed it into his face. He was bewildered when the punch from Becky, an ordinary fourteen year old girl sent him, the alien smashing guardian of earth flying across the stadium.

He skidded across the top of the crowd causing dozens of injuries to the hapless bystanders when one of them caught him gruffly in a full nelson. Gaining his wits, Ness noticed that many of those around him had the same blank expression as Becky had had.

"Now you die, chosen one." The man who held Ness whispered as Becky came charging across the stadium. Ness quickly smashed the back of his head into his captor's face and leapt to the side. He broke free just as Becky demolished the bleachers on which he had just been standing. Several of the spectators that were affected by the strange malady hurled themselves at the still airborne Ness, one grabbed his ankles and threw him violently into the concrete stairs of the stadium which exploded in a cloud of dust under the impact of Ness' fall. Ness barely had time to wonder what in the hell was going on before he was mobbed by ten bystanders who all suddenly had inhuman strength. Ness parried some of their blows but they managed to latch onto his arms and back holding him in place.

"I have a strange power." A wiry, balding man on Ness' back said.

"I can project my consciousness into others and act through them." A petite blond woman said, holding Ness' arm.

"Not only that," said the large biker holding Ness' other arm.

"But I can use my PSI through them." Becky chuckled, stepping slowly, purposefully up the steps towards Ness. "Can you fight me, chosen one? Can you figure out who I really am? Can you harm these innocent people?" She laughed aggressively. "PSI Quake!" she yelled. The massive shockwave tore up the steps towards Ness and sent chunks of concrete into the air.

"That's a new one on me…" Ness mumbled as he gathered his PSI. He could have throw these people off of him and evade the attack, but that ran the risk of their being hurt in the crossfire. He would not let innocent people get suffer if he could help it, and his opponent was counting on this. Ness grunted as the wall of concrete smashed into him, "Lifeup…" he whispered, healing himself and those that held him down.

Becky roared with laughter, "It's too much! You actually healed those that are trying to kill you! You are predictably weak as I thought chosen one." She leapt towards him and slammed her fist into his chest. Ness weathered the blow and caught her follow up attack. "If you are this much of a pixie with total strangers, how will you handle fighting one of your precious comrades?" she asked mockingly. Ness dropped and tripped her with a low sweeping kick. He then leapt out over the baseball diamond. Random spectators and even members of the team launched savage assaults at him as he flew through the air towards the bat rack. He took hold of two good sluggers and began fending off half of the out fielding team.

"PSI FIRE BETA!" Becky launched a wave of fire at Ness, which he evaded just as it exploded. _I have to find him before more innocent people get hurt!_ Ness thought frantically.

"PSI FLASH OMEGA!!" Ness bellowed. The flash was so maddeningly bright that many of Ness' opponents seized and collapsed. In an incredible stroke of luck, Ness noticed the flash dissipate against a small shield around one particular bystander. It was a short dark green creature with horns and scales wrapped in a gray trench coat. Ness charged through the crowd of murderous civilians and was upon his real opponent, flooring the creature with one solid blow.

"I see. So that's why you hid behind those innocent people." Ness said, towering over his groaning assailant. "You're a real pansy!" He added, grinning. He looked around. The game was for all intents and purposes canceled. Many of the fans were unconscious, and half the players had broken bones, he had heard them crack. _So much for staying off the radar…_ he thought, cringing at the reproachful look he knew Paula was going to give him. No sooner had he completed that thought than he felt someone take a firm hold of his mental shoulders and scream into his telepathic ear. It was Paula, and she was in trouble! Ness knew it was irresponsible, but then and there he teleported away to Twoson, with no explanation to anyone as to what happened or why. In his haste to aid Paula, Ness missed the shadowy figure that stood atop the scoreboard, surveying the scene.

"He is strong." The figure said, seemingly to no one.

"Perhaps." Another figure seemed to materialize out of nothingness.

"If I had not used that diversion medium, he may found me." The first figure said.

"Yes. And as you said, he is strong. But it will take more than strength to defeat you, even at half power. And if he cannot defeat you, then he will not stand a chance against HIM."

The first figure smirked darkly. "You're right. None can stand against HIM."


	2. Heroes Regroup

Chapter II: Heroes Regroup

Loid wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. Of course that didn't really matter since he was only grading papers, not the most intellectually strenuous task, so he could afford to do this. Besides, he was a genius. At the age of 31 he had been teaching graduate courses in aeronautics and structural engineering for ten years. He had become a full professor at the University of Fourside at an age when his peers were still earning their Undergraduate degrees. His reverie was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"It's open." He called absently.

Loid didn't bother to look up as the door opened and two sets of footsteps shuffled into the office. He suspected that the dean of the college of science had come to bitch at him again for being so young and brilliant, and having the audacity to threaten his position.

"He hasn't changed a bit, still has a one track mind as always." a distantly familiar voice chuckled.

At this Loid lifted his eyes.

"Ninten, Ana!" he cried, delighted. "It's been a while!"

"More than a while Loid." Ana replied.

"So what brings the two of you here?"

Ninten cocked his head, "you don't know?" he asked, "It's our anniversary."

"I see… actually, no I don't," Loid responded, "you two got married in December, it's… it's May now, right?"

"No, Loid" Ana giggled, "well, yes, it is May. But we're not talking about our wedding anniversary, it's OUR anniversary." she said, indicating the three of them.

Loid thought for a moment. Finally he said, "That was today? I completely forgot! Wow… how long has it been?"

"It's been nineteen years since we defeated Gigue" Ninten said sagely.

Loid smiled, "well it came at a good time, I'm nearly finished grading these exams; we should go out."

"We wouldn't have it any other way." Ninten said.

X X X X X X X X

Jeff was swimming or more accurately sinking, at least that's how he felt. His thoughts bounced between visions of delirium in which the irate leaches were still attacking. The smell of roasting meat teased him to consciousness. He was lying on his back. He saw a large, dark blur directly above him. He felt around for his glasses and found them, miraculously, lying next to him. They were cracked, but he could see clearly enough through them to figure out what this creature was. She had brown hair, and large brown eyes. She was barefoot, and dirty, dressed in a very simple animal skin tunic. She was squatting over him, watching him intently. He sat up.

"Hello." He said. She did not respond. "I don't suppose you speak English, do you?"

She cocked her head inquisitively. Jeff looked around. They were sitting next to a fire in a cave. Checking himself for injuries, he found his clothes were torn and he had several rather painful whelps on his legs and torso. He also felt a bit weak.

"Must be from the blood loss," he thought aloud to himself.

He looked over at the girl, who was still studying him intently. He tried to stand, but failed in the attempt. He groaned, holding his stomach. His blood sugar was low, he had no idea how long he had been out, and what blood he had left needed sugar. The girl, perceiving this, stood and walked over to the fire, retrieved a piece of meat, and offered it to Jeff. He hesitated momentarily before a primal hunger took over and politely snatched the meat from her and devoured it. The girl laughed at this, and then offered him another. The meat was rubbery and bitter, but Jeff felt nearly starved and busily shoved it into his stomach.

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me what kind of meat that is?" Jeff asked around a mouthful.

The girl smiled and offered him more. This piece, however, still had the head of the creature attached to it. Jeff felt slightly sick as he realized that the girl was feeding him the same leaches that had tried to eat him earlier. With supreme effort, Jeff fought back the gagging reflex and set the meat aside.

"I'm so full." He said. "Why doesn't she speak…?" Jeff wondered, his sharp mind producing a plethora of possible explanations for the muteness of his hostess. He looked around the room. His gaze fell on his bag lying by the fire. The girl, still studying him, traced his gaze to the bag and walked cheerily over to it and brought it to him.

"Thank you." He said. "Although…" he continued, feeling silly, "I don't suppose I'll get a 'you're welcome' will I?" he asked rhetorically.

"You're welcome. Will I?" she repeated, copying his voice well nigh exactly.

Jeff blinked. He expected her to mimic his speech sooner or later, but her speed surprised him. Jeff smiled and opened his bag. He had lost his Gaia beam when the Leaches had attacked him, but he still had his backup, the moon beam. He felt his injuries again.

"What I wouldn't give to have Ness or Poo around right now…" he breathed.

Jeff decided to rest before venturing out of the cave. When he awoke, he set about to explore, his new friend following behind curiously. She seemed to be fascinated with Jeff, and he hypothesized that he was the first human that she had seen in several years, if ever. she studied him as closely as he studied her, occasionally imitating him when he would stoop to study a plant or look at the sky to get his bearings. He found that he had no idea where he was which was no surprise, seeing as he and Toney had landed the Sky runner in an uncharted part of deep darkness, several miles south of the Tenda Village and the area that Ness and co. had traversed during their adventure. As they walked, Jeff wondered as to the origins of the girl. From all appearances she could not speak, except to repeat what he said to her, so there was really no way of knowing who she was, what her name was, or even if she had a name. The thought occurred to Jeff to give her a name, but he felt that that would be somehow inappropriate, he also wondered as to her origins. How and why was she here in Deep darkness? How long had she been here? How had she survived in such a hostile environment? What was his location relative to the Tenda village, or the Monkey Hotel and the nearest telephone where he could contact Ness or Poo and get them to teleport him out of here? Where was Here? What had become of Toney? And what was that that had just moved past his leg?

In answer to his question, a manly fish and two of his brothers emerged from the murky water and grunted a challenge. Jeff lacked the telepathic ability of Ness and Paula to understand its speech, but he guessed, quite correctly, that it was hostile. It glared at him with its bulbous, luminescent eyes and hurled its spear at him. Jeff made a dive to the side, but before he could get a shot off, the girl was between him and the manly fish, and she was blindingly fast. She had caught the spear nanoseconds after it was thrown and was using its blunt end to beat the Manly fish's brothers into submission, having already bitten off the tip and spat it directly into the manly fish's chest.

Jeff was stunned. This girl was more ferocious than Paula had been after Ness was knocked unconscious by the Plague Rat of doom. The Manly fish's brothers scuttled off, dragging their direly wounded sibling after them and whimpering in their unintelligible fish gurgles. She turned to him, beaming. He smiled back, sheepishly. The question of her survival was now answered.

X X X X X X X X

Poo drifted towards consciousness comfortably. VERY comfortably. The mattress on which he lay felt like a fluffy cloud, and the soft silk felt heavenly against his bare skin. His eyes snapped open. _Wait a minute… _He thought warily_. Did I just describe the sheets as 'heavenly?' And secondly, why am I in a bed? _He wondered, as the last thing he remembered was being left for dead on frozen tundra. _And one more thing… why are these sheets touching my bare skin?_ The first, he reasoned, could be explained by the fact that he the bed, the room, and everything around him was saturated in a very girlish smelling perfume. Looking around the room, Poo began to feel a sudden dread in the pit of his stomach as he realized that he was sleeping in a room of the palace belonging to HER. The young prince took a moment to calm himself. He could handle this situation. He was the heir to the throne of Dalaam for Buddha's sake! One of the four prophesied guardians, and the second strongest warrior on the planet! He could handle whatever his fiancé and future in-laws could throw at him. Poo set his jaw firmly and, peeking under the covers discovered his distinct lack of pants.

"Dammit." He muttered.

X X X X X X X X

Paula opened her eyes to a very welcomed sight. Ness was staring down at her with a very relieved look on his face.

"Do you feel any better?" He asked. "You were poisoned. I'm glad I got here when I did."

Judging from the unhealed bruises on his face, and cuts on his body, he had been attacked as well, and had rushed to her aid before tending to himself.

"You were attacked too…" She said in an even tone.

"Yeah." He said somberly. There was a pregnant pause before he continued, "The guy I fought… He used powers I've never seen before."

Paula nodded, a distant look in her eyes. She turned to him, "Ness… they… they took Tracy."

Ness sensed her guilt and smiled his goofy reassuring grin. "I know. But don't worry, I've got the best psychic this side of Threed to help me track her down!"

Paula didn't move. "Ness." She said. "I couldn't protect her…"

Ness looked at her, steel blue met with warm brown. "No, you didn't protect her, just like I didn't protect you. Even if you try your best, sometimes you'll still fail." He smirked and poked her forehead playfully, "didn't we have this conversation at the Montoli building?"

Paula looked down and nodded. She had said those exact words to him when he had rescued her more than a year prior. She woudn't beat herself up, she would focus the guilt of failure into her efforts to find Tracy. She smiled back at Ness. He was not a genius like Jeff, and he lacked Poo's extensive military training, but his heart, determination, and ability to inspire left no doubt in anyone's mind why Ness was the leader of the chosen four. It was the other reason that she loved him.

X X X X X X X X

Poo felt fairly ridiculous. Some servant, or perhaps someone in charge, had gotten the bright idea that Poo would sleep better if relieved of his clothes. All of them. It took the Dalamese prince about three seconds to decide that that was a bad idea, so he got up and began looking about the large, expensive, and very drafty room for some clothes. He found a magnificently embroidered wardrobe full of dresses, skirts, and kimonos that were obviously tailored for someone half his size and of the fairer sex. Since he could not find anything in the room, Poo decided that his psychic abilities coupled with his extensive martial arts training would allow him to sneak out of his room and make his way around the palace undetected. As fate would have it, however, Poo had not gotten very far down the corridor before he sensed one of the servants arrive at his room to bring him tea, panic at his absence and call the palace guards to search for him. And so it was that Poo was wandering around the royal palace of Wu Tang wearing only a loin cloth, and doing his best to avoid the guards.

After streaking like an idiot through the royal palace for a good fifteen minutes, Poo found himself in an expansive and very dark room. He looked around for a time, noting that something, he couldn't place exactly what, was out of place. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he whirled around, casting brainshock on an especially dark corner behind him. The two old clerics were able to counter his sudden psychic attack, but were caught enough off guard that the illusion they had been generating was disrupted, and Poo was now able to see them. He also saw… Oh no.

There before him, looking supremely amused, sat the ruler of Wu Tang, General Mao. Now, Poo knew that such a spectacle would no doubt be quite an embarrassment for his family, his entire country, if it got out. But Poo had never been the type to be easily embarrassed, which he could see Mao knew because he was now roaring with laughter as if the whole farce had been some kind of practical joke.

"I see that Mao-Sama has quite the sense of humor." Poo said, bowing shamelessly.

The general wiped the corners of his eyes and said, "I do, dear prince, but if you mean to imply that this was planned, then you are mistaken. Your robes were damaged and dirty when we found you, and we did not expect you to recover so quickly. My clerics sensed your unusually strong aura approach the throne room, hence the precautionary illusion." General Mao let out a second fit of laughter before he continued, "You have my congratulations; to elude fifty of our palace guards is no small feat. I am glad to see that you have the warrior's spirit so legendary in your country."

"I disagree." Another frighteningly familiar voice rang from behind Poo.

The young prince watched the attendants, servants and dignitaries of the throne room bow in deference to the source of the voice. Poo recognized it though he had not heard it in many, many years. It was no longer the nasal whine of a spoiled, prepubescent girl; it was now mature and decidedly feminine, though it retained its air of haughtiness.

Poo turned slowly, cursing every deity he could think of and their collectively morbid sense of humor. And so it was that M**onosashi** Poo came face to face with his betrothed, Pei Lynn Mao, heiress to the kingdom of Wu Tang.

X X X X X X X X

Paula could not sense anything. It was no surprise, she had not been able to sense her opponent's approach, nor did she sense their retreat yet now she hoped against hope to get some indication of where Tracy's kidnappers had disappeared to. It was futile. Granted her range was limited to Twoson and the neighboring towns, and the likelihood of the enemy staying in that vicinity was very low, she had to give it a try. She turned to Ness with a grave look and shook her head. He nodded thoughtfully.

"So what now?" Paula asked.

"We go ask someone who knows." Ness replied. "At least, I hope he knows something."

"But…" Paula paused, "what makes you think he knows anything?"

Ness waved off her doubts, "He's an old guru guy, he's bound to know SOMETHING." His face turned serious. "Paula, listen. You and I were both attacked within minutes of each other. Something's up. I think we'd better find the others."

Paula nodded, closed her eyes, and concentrated. She shook her head after a brief moment, "Jeff isn't in winters… he's out of my range." After a few moments of concentration she said, "Poo… Where are you? We need your help, Ness and I… What? Um… I didn't need to know that. Why are you… never mind, forget I asked. Listen, just meet us at—what? Why? No, I can't get a hold of Jeff. I don't know, but I'm worried. What does THAT have to do with anything? …because I'm a woman?! How—fine. We'll meet you there." She opened her eyes and scowled. "Poo says he's indisposed at the moment, something about underwear, I don't even want to know what he was talking about. Anyway, he said to meet him at Saturn Valley in an hour."

"Great." Ness said, "Let's go then." He turned to go, but Paula caught his arm.

"Ness…" She said, "What about Jeff?"

X X X X X X X X

The fish were not biting. Well, that wasn't exactly true. The fish were biting considerably less than Jeff would have liked. He had rigged up a sophisticated and overly elaborate system of pulleys and hooks made from twigs, crabgrass and a stray thread from his blazer and yet he had only caught three so far, as opposed to the twelve that his mysterious companion had caught with her bare hands. He knew that if Poo were here he would make some chauvinistic comment about the shame of it all.

But Jeff was not ashamed as much as he was intrigued. Her primitive nature and almost feral fighting style appealed to his scientific mind. Not only that, but the clarity with which she had mimicked his speech. He had read in many scientific journals about cases in which humans had been isolated during their early years, and had seen fairly consistently that they did not, could not develop linguistic skills half so refined.

Jeff shrugged and repositioned his glasses over the pile of twigs and dried leaves. She had initially tried to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but when she saw Jeff's attempt at fishing, she had apparently decided that his method was far too convoluted. He had in return taken to lighting the fire with his glasses, Lord of the Flies style. He knew that Ness would have some choice words about his nerdy ness, both for having glasses that thick, and for having enjoyed that book. He realized absently that his starting the fire and cooking the fish, and the fact that she was catching the fish, was diametrically opposed to the Paleolithic archetype that they were following, ergo the reversal of gender roles. Of course his postulating was cut short as the girl, holding her thirteenth fish above her head in a display of triumph, suddenly crouched defensively and hissed. Following her line of view, Jeff spotted a man, or, what had the form of a man, wrapped in a cloak and holding a number of swords. Upon closer inspection Jeff's eyes narrowed.

"How did you get that sword?" Jeff demanded. The newcomer sneered. Jeff weighed his options. This creature was carrying the Sword of Kings and had therefore defeated Poo. Jeff knew that it was the sword of kings because of the Naruto novelty keychain fastened to the hilt. Jeff also knew that Poo had been defeated because after all the trouble they had gone through to get that sword, there was no way Poo would part with it easily.

Again, Jeff demanded, "Where did you get that sword?"

"I'll ask the questions, boy." The stranger responded in a growl. "What are you doing here?"

Jeff paused, tense. He fiddled with the buttons on the frames of his glasses. There followed a series of quiet pops as the microprocessor in his spy scanner shorted out. _Dammit_. Jeff swore silently. He hated to go into battle without a readout, it was like fighting blind. As it stood, he was very lightly armed. He was ready to make a dive for his bag, but he would need some type of diversion. With a feral yell, the jungle girl was upon the mysterious swordsman and slammed her shoulder into his stomach. He was thrown backwards and caught off guard. Jeff dove for his bag.

"Just the diversion I needed." He thought.

X X X X X X X X

"Ana?" Ninten looked cautiously at his wife who had gone white as a sheet, her eyes wide with alarm.

"Don't tell me you didn't FEEL that!" She gasped at a confused Ninten.

"Feel what?" He asked, oblivious.

Loid simply cut another piece of his salmon and waited patiently for his two psychic friends to remember that he had no extra sensory perception whatsoever and include him in the conversation.

Ana shut her eyes and began rubbing her temples. "Loid, I'm not familiar with this city, but what is there about two miles in that direction?" she asked, pointing.

Loid thought for a moment. "That would be Havoc stadium. Why?"

Ninten focused his mind in the indicated direction. He didn't sense anything, but he suddenly had a gut feeling that something was very wrong.

"Ana, we're going." He said.

"Hey, what about Teddy?" Loid asked, "he's supposed to be here in about five minutes!"

Ninten paused, "When he gets here, bring him to the stadium. We may need his help."

Loid's eyes widened. "You don't mean… but I thought we—"

"We don't know yet, Loid." Ana said, "we're just going to check it out."

"Um…" Ninten said, scratching his head bashfully, "Sorry Loid, but you're going to have to pick up the check!" he said, grabbing Ana's arm and dashing out of the restaurant.

Loid stood puzzled for a moment. "DAMMIT NINTEN!" he yelled after them.

X X X X X X X X

Jeff tumbled along the ground, firing blasts of energy from his gun. Despite their inability to communicate, he and this mysterious girl made quite a good team. Her wild, unpredictable, close range fighting style was ferocious, but ultimately outclassed by the swordsman's ridiculous speed. Luckily, Jeff's constant long range combat kept his opponent off balance enough that, for the time being, Jeff and the girl were actually winning. Of course the pace at which the battle was being fought was difficult to maintain, and Jeff was starting to feel fatigue in his own movements. _I have to end this quickly…_ Jeff thought. Taking stock of the weapons he had still intact, he noted that he only had a multi bottle rocket, a single bottle rocket, and one of his prototype fission grenades. _That should do it._

It was a miniature thermonuclear device, a hydrogen bomb on a microscopic scale. Even so, it still had a blast radius of about one hundred yards. That presented a problem. While he was thus occupied with devising a strategy, one of his volleys went astray, glancing off of the sword of kings. Realizing that he could deflect Jeff's attacks instead of simply dodging them, the swordsman began to charge the young scientist. Though Jeff was not completely incapable of hand to hand combat, he was badly outmatched against the swordsman. He saw the flash of the blade, and heard it whistle through the air, he heard the sickening sound of splitting flesh and saw the blood spray into the air. Jeff could not move. He felt sick to his stomach as he realized that the wild jungle girl had thrown herself between Jeff and his opponent and taken the full brunt of the attack.

The feeling of nausea gave way to anger as suddenly everything around him began to slow down. He watched the girl collapse onto the ground and saw the swordsman spring forward with a follow up swing, ready to put an end to Jeff. With a swift motion, Jeff moved his hand and parried the enemy's sword with the barrel of his gun, and held the swordsman at bay. The swordsman tried in vain to overpower Jeff, who very calmly, he pulled the big bottle rocket out of his bag with his free hand and gripped the ignition chord with his teeth. He pulled the string and launched the rocket at point blank range into the chest of his assailant. The swordsman was thrown backwards and propelled into a large boulder where the rocket exploded.

Jeff immediately knelt by the girl's side, looking over her injuries. She had a deep gash running diagonally down her back. With a no small amount of struggle she turned over and gazed up at him, smiling weakly. Now, in the clear sunlight Jeff could see that her eyes were a much lighter brown than he had originally thought; they were an almost golden color. It was then that Jeff decided on a name for her. _What the hell am I thinking?!_ The rational side of his mind screamed at him, _This is no time for nomenclature! I have no medical supplies, and I certainly have no healing abilities!_ It was then that the smoke from the explosion cleared, and Jeff could see standing among the rubble, the swordsman. He still held the sword of kings, and was glaring at them with murder in his eyes. He leapt forward screeching his vengeance and ready to cut them to ribbons. Jeff cradled the girl defensively; there was no time for him to act.

"PSI STARSTORM ALPHA!" Poo bellowed from high above them. A shower of stars blasted into the swordsman, reducing him to ashes in seconds.

Jeff looked up at his newly arrived comrade. "POO! My God am I glad to see you!"

Poo looked at Jeff, clearly surprised. "What are you doing here?" He asked, approaching his friend, "…and who's the babe?"

"Her name is Amber, and she's hurt. This is no time for your foolishness you lecher, just get over here and heal her…" Jeff drifted off, as if seeing Poo for the first time, "Why are you wearing a dress?!"


End file.
